The Ooh, Clever Tale
by GlitchNote
Summary: Unfinished rough draft. Yes, I'm fishing for feedback, help wanted and needed. "Oh no," came Archer's British-lilted reply. "Haven't you heard, Ghost? Snipers are the best of all." Rated T for language.


...

I read the joke in here on a _Two Steps From Hell - Moving Shadows_ video on YouTube way back when. It had the picture of a couple snipers and this person was one of the few that commented this joke that had me laughing out loud. It's gone now, and I haven't been able to find it anywhere else since, but it's stuck with me long enough that I decided to use it for a MW2 drabble. Credit to whoever came up with it, I thought it was pretty good, haha.

In spite of the joke, the music is badass. TSFH is one of my favorite bands. If you like anything remotely similar to Trans-Siberian Orchestra or movie/TV soundtracks, you should check them out after this.

Drabble is unfinished/WIP and filled with notes to myself. I wrote this for NanoWrimo last year, so it's a _rushed_ rough draft and I was too uninspired to fix it up, but it's one of my better ones so I decided to post it. If enough people like it I might finish it up. Otherwise, please enjoy.

...

"Oh no," came Archer's British-lilted reply. "Haven't you heard, Ghost? Snipers are the best of all."

"Yeah, right!" Scarecrow jumped in. "The close-combat soldiers are the—"

"No no, listen," Archer cut him off. It was a playful little argument and the others were well into continuing it for some time, but Archer appeared to be very determined to keep the one-track mind of his comrades on his train of thought for a while longer. "Snipers are the _best of all_."

Ghost snorted. Alright, he'd bite. "And just why is that, mate?" he shot back.

The line fell silent with everyone listening for the sniper's reply. Archer grinned a mischievous grin to himself, then repositioned his ear piece in his ear and replied, "Snipers are the best of all soldiers because they get a lot of head…"

The line remained silent with everyone waiting for him to finish the train of thought (as it was their initial assumption that the statement was incomplete). In the shortest period of wait, however, Roach had just enough time to clamp his hands over a laugh bursting from his mouth before Archer finished, "…shots."

Ghost pointed and peeled over with laughter at his partner's growing red visage, as Roach tried to suppress his wild, uncontrollable mirth from the previously unseen [in-the-gutter] [perverted] [dirty] joke but failed miserably as it pushed against the restraint of his vocal cords in a shower of spit and snot across his gloves. Ghost couldn't decide whether the clever joke on Archer's part or Roach's particular reaction to it was funnier, as he took a look at the veins beginning to sprout from his partner's neck and listened to the similar guffaws over the comm. Both made him light-headed and unable to suck in a proper breath.

"Wow, Archer, just…" Toad's voice dissolved into his chuckles. "Wow."

"You nearly killed Roach with that joke there, mate," Ghost announced amongst his own sniggers. His comrade had controlled himself to the point where he could remove his hands from his mouth to wipe up the snot splattered over his nose and upper lip, but his grin was still huge and his shoulders were still shaking with his wheezing laughter. His laugh was _hilarious_. Second only to Meat's, perhaps, who's roaring chortles could make _MacTavish_ cry with [stomach pains] [mirth]. Ghost really enjoyed when either got tickled by a joke and just let loose.

Static and the stifled sound of a brief shuffle indicated someone activated their comm. again. Ghost and Roach listened up to what the speaker had to say to the team.

"Yeah," the voice, stifled and scratchy (it sounded a bit like Scarecrow, maybe, but they couldn't be for sure), said, "but it's a shame how the only head a sniper gets is dead meat." (Corny joke is corny. Pretend it's funny.)

At this, the implication caught Roach by surprise and startled the laugh out of him before he could think to catch it. Ghost just nearly exploded as he watched Roach's eyes pop wide, mouth a huge O as he belted his wheezy, contagious, hilarious laugh into the dirt. Over the comm., Ghost could hear Meat's roar of laughter making his speaker fuzz out with how loud it was. Sided by two of the best laughters he'd ever heard, coupled by the sniper jokes just getting better, Ghost lost his footing and fell to the ground, stomach aching and lungs heaving.

"Scarecrow!" Archer managed to holler through the link, though it was all he managed to get out through his mirth.

"What!" Scarecrow called back, voice hoarse. "It wasn't me! Shit."

"It was Chemo, Arch," someone muttered with a series of exhales.

"Traitor," Chemo muttered back, smile evident in his voice.

A burst of static that hadn't been there before helped return some sanity to the situation at hand. Mounting the static, the low and reprimanding voice of their captain came through loud and clear. "You lot," he said, "are going to be the death of this mission. Radio – and vocal – silence is key, and that's the least you all have been since we arrived." But the chuckle in his voice wasn't hidden as well as he clearly hoped. Roach's crimson and spittle-covered face looked permanently plastered with the splitting grin he was wearing as he lay curled in the dirt beside Ghost. He bit on his finger, hoping to keep from dealing with any more laughs with his aching stomach, but the moment he detected the chortle in the captain's voice, he had to shake his head and cover his face with his hands.

Ghost laughed at him (despite the fact that he was surprised he could still laugh at all). "You look disgusting, mate," he pointed out, beaming at how much of a wreck he was.

:/\/\/

_Feedback appreciated. I could use a suggestion for a better comeback._


End file.
